A Poem About Marriage

Here is the thing about marriage:
It is never just this
or only that 

It is, of course, the obvious--
partnership, friendship, romance, taxes

But it is also seasons

It is one person getting up earlier than the other
making the coffee
feeding the cat
rushing off to work after giving a kiss on the forehead

It is the other person getting up a bit later
drinking the coffee
petting the cat
feeling that kiss on the forehead 

It is taking turns in being one person and the other
Taking turns in the morning chores and hurried goodbyes
Taking turns in the slowly sipped coffee

Marriage is sharing
rooms, blankets, dishes, dreams
while maintaining the individual selves

It is dancing in the kitchen as the pasta boils

It is fighting in the car during traffic stalls
Or in the hallway when the laundry piles
Or in front of cupboards when the dishes are put away differently

Marriage is apologizing
for the things you said when you were stuck in traffic
When you were folding the laundry
When you were looking for the good bowls

Marriage is difficult conversations
About money
About family
About how to cook the steak

Marriage is saying thank you
Thank you for the flowers
Thank you for washing the car
For sweeping the porch
For holding me while I tell you how I’m hurting

Marriage is doing better after you fall short
Marriage is assuring them that they do not fall short
Marriage is encouraging each other to do better

Marriage is staying up late so you know that they’ve arrived home safely
Marriage is checking the flight status over and over and over again
to be sure they landed safely
Marriage is saying “be safe” as they walk out the door each day
Marriage is finding where you feel safe
and sleeping next to them in the same bed,
touching toes to toes in the dark,
as if to say
‘I love you, I am so glad you are safe’.